Tiny People With Big Helmets (Man Orchids)
And stopping to look at what others have noticed
A couple of weeks ago KP, Noushi and I went for a walk in a woodland a few miles from our house. Each time we go there we discover something new - a mushroom that wouldn’t look out of place in The Moomins, an especially springy type of moss, sloes to steep in gin, a particularly good fallen tree for Noushi to pose on… The woods is also surrounded by wildflower meadows, where last summer we came across some people looking for bee orchids, sadly without success. I’ve wanted to find one ever since, but not been lucky enough (or knowledgeable enough) to find one. Sometimes you need someone to show you where - and how - to look.
So, when we returned to this meadow in late May, I immediately started searching the long grass, willing an orchid to come into view. “Here’s one!” I shouted to KP, and we stared lovingly for a while at a striking blue plant before I took a photo to ID it when we got home. As it turns out, the plant was actually something called bugleherb (or bugleweed/carpetweed). Definitely not an orchid, but a very pretty medicinal plant I am now keen to find again and learn more about.
We walked a bit further down the hill, and I can confidently say I have never been so excited to come across a strange man crouching down in long grass. He had to have been there for a reason and I thought I knew what that reason was…
“Are you looking for orchids?” I asked the man in the grass. “Yes,” he said, “man orchids. I’ll show you one if you like”. Success!
We followed the man, carefully tiptoeing around in identical-looking patches of grass, while he tried to locate these well-disguised plants. “I’ve got a What3Words location saved in my phone,” he explained, as we searched for the right three by three metre patch of meadow. Eventually, a man orchid was pointed out, though it wasn’t easy to see at first. “You’ve got to crouch down to see them,” the heroic stranger advised. And once I did, more and more man orchids magically came into view. It’s amazing how, once you get down to a plant’s level, your whole perspective shifts and you notice new details (and often new plants too).
Although at first glance man orchids don’t seem that spectacular (“British orchids have nothing on the ones in Singapore,” quipped our unassuming guide), once you know what to look for, you’ll notice several tiny little people hanging from a tall spike, each wearing a gigantic helmet! Who needs Singapore? I’m happy with this comedic little plant in this very Kentish field, buzzing pylons and all.
The moral of the story is… if you see someone out in nature staring up or down at something, stop and ask them what they’re looking at. I’ve seen so many new birds and plants this way, and I never regret asking (just make sure you’re not accidentally interrupting someone who is actually having a sneaky wild wee!).
If you’re in southeast England you might be lucky enough to spot a man orchid too. This endangered species of orchid flowers from May to June and they like grassland on chalk or limestone, so Kent and Surrey (and even parts of south London) are good places to look.
Further reading
I’m still yet to see a bee orchid - maybe this is the year!
Lief Bersweden is a huge advocate for getting down to a plant’s level, and has a great post about bugleherb too.
Man orchids are one of 56 orchids that grow wild in the UK, so if you’re not in the southeast, why not use the Orchid ID guide from the Natural History Museum (which has a handy map) to help you search for other orchids near you.
Orchids and fungi have a weird and wonderful relationship we are still learning about.
Did you know, there’s also a naked man orchid (though it doesn’t grow wild in the UK)? I’ll let you spot the difference between this plant and our man orchid…
By the way
I’m off on me ‘olidays next week, so look out for a series of guest posts coming up over the next few weeks, while I am exploring the French countryside with Noushi! Also, get your pens ready for a special Summer Solstice Nature Notebook bonus post coming later in June…
Great photos.
I lead an environmental group in my parish and for the last couple of years we have been protecting Bee Orchids.
Very pleased to have established bugle in my field now - and now I'm off to look and see if the common orchid is showing signs of reappearing... we only had 2 last year but I couldn't have been more excited!